In The End It Doesn't Really Matter
by mfig
Summary: It's been two years since Buffy's death and things are...well, different.


In The End It Doesn't Really Matter  
  
Rating: R (for bad language)  
  
Category: Angst  
  
Summary: It's been two years since Buffy's death and things are…well, different.  
  
Disclaimers: "Buffy" does not belong to me.  
  
  
  
  
  
I've put my trust in you  
  
Pushed as far as I can go  
  
For all this there's only one thing you should know  
  
I've tried so hard and got so far  
  
But in the end in doesn't even matter  
  
I had to fall to lose it all  
  
But in the end it doesn't matter.  
  
  
  
Giles stepped out from the dark building, putting on his black coat, which went over his black suit. Any one could see that black was his main color now in days. Everything he wore was of a dark color.  
  
He hailed a cab and quickly stepped into it. "Where to sir?" the driver asked. "46th Berman Street" Giles told him. The man nodded and turned back around. Giles sighed and leaned back in the seat. He turned his head around and stared out the window. London was nothing like Sunnydale, 'No! Must no think of them!' Giles scolded himself. The cab abruptly stopped, 'what now?' Giles thought to himself and then saw the traffic jam in front of them. "Well, looks like we're going to be here for a while" the driver said in a nonchalant voice, he then took out a paper back book and started to read.  
  
'Bloody magnificent' Giles thought to himself. He decided to relax and not worry so much. Giles also tried hard to think of anything but then, which ultimately meant her. But he couldn't fight it for long and ended up letting his mind wondered into that area in his mind were he preferred not to go. Suddenly thoughts of them overwhelmed his memory.  
  
'They're fine kids' he admitted to himself, "but sometimes they can be rather idiotic." He thought of all of them, one by one, and then there she was. He closed his eyes and pictured her beautiful, angelic face, her golden blonde hair, and her breath-taking smile. He loved her and not as a father loves a daughter, or as a watcher loves a slayer, but as a man loves a woman. He didn't want to at first, he bloody well did everything in his power not to let himself fall in love. But in the end, he couldn't help it.  
  
Of course he never thought that she would reciprocate his feelings, but he could dream, couldn't he? Besides she had that boyfriend of hers, what was his name again? Oh, yes Riley, Mr. Super soldier. 'God I hate him', Giles thought with a grimace on his face. He was beyond happiness when he had found out that Riley had left. For a while after that he thought that something between he and Buffy could be possible, but then everything went to hell. Thanks to that bitch, Glory. Giles could still remember the way he clamped his hand over Ben/Glory's mouth and felt *their* last breath, a dark smile crept onto Giles face.  
  
Suddenly Giles' chest tighten when he remember what came next, Buffy had died. She had decided to play the fucking hero again and threw herself off the tower and into the portal. He also remembered walking up to her and seeing her laying there, every bone in her fragile little body broken.  
  
They had all cried that moment, but he was the one to cry most mainly because before she had decided to make her "sacrifice" she had told and done something to him that had rocked his world. While they had been in the training room talking, she was about to go home and get her weapons, but instead had turned around and said the three words he had always wanted to hear. "I love you," she said, at first he had thought she meant it in friendship, but then she had stepped closer to him and brought his mouth down to hers for a searing kiss. It had been heaven, when she pulled away she didn't say anything and just walked away. As she fully left the room he found his voice and said, "I love you too", hopefully she had heard him.  
  
After that everything blurred for him, he stilled remembered everything that happen, but there were no emotions to go with his memories. As if he had been numb the whole time, through the funeral everyone had been crying, including him. The day they had buried her it had been raining. He remember standing there holding an umbrella and with his other arm holding Dawn close to him. Her face was buried in his chest as she cried for her sister and for everyone else. 'Poor kid' he thought to himself, in one year she had lost her family. Giles decided not to dwell in that anymore and noticed that the cab was moving now; he would be home in no time.  
  
  
  
The cab pulled up to a rather large Victorian house. Giles paid the man and ran inside, the rain already socking him under his jacket. He came in to smell the fragrance of lasagna in the air. He hanged up his coat and made his way to the kitchen, removing his blazer and tie on the way. "I see your becoming quite the cook," he said as he leaned on the doorway to the kitchen. "Yeah, I think I want to be a chef when I grow up, what do you think?" Dawn said looking up from the stove. "I think that would be a marvelous idea. You always did like to cook." She smiled at his encouragement. "Well, I better change before I catch a cold", he said as he made his way to the stairs. "Dinner will be done in 30 minutes," she said from the kitchen.  
  
Dawn sat down in the living room while the lasagna finished cooking. For the first time in a while she remember that it had been two years since Buffy died, which meant one years since she moved to London with Giles, even though she wasn't suppose to. It had been though but Giles had been able to adopt her and bring her with him to London. Right away he acquired a huge house for them and enrolled her in one of the most expensive schools in London. It was strange, but for the first time ever she felt as though she belonged, that there was a place for her in this world. Her place was here in London with Giles, as his daughter. Giles had been able to give her the one thing she wanted most in this world, a place in it. In Sunnydale she never truly had a place, everyone else did, but not her. Now she had one and things were starting to get better.  
  
  
  
Giles made his way down the hall and to the stairs, but stopped at Dawn's bedroom. He looked inside for a moment, sadly it reminded him of Buffy's room. He sighed and made his way to the stairs. It had been two years since her death and one since he and Dawn came to London. He loved her with all his might, she was the daughter he never had, but always longed for deep down inside. It had been quite a legal battle to adopt her, but in the end the court saw that he was a more capable father than Hank Summer, plus the fact that he didn't show for the court hearing made it a no brainer for the court to rule in his favor. Now things were different, he had a family and a safer job that provided well for them both.  
  
On the way downstairs he felt ashamed for letting his feeling overwhelmed him the way they did in the cab. It was very seldom that he would get lost in his thoughts in such a way. In all honesty he was broken up inside about her death, but he would live for her and for Dawn. Once he had reached the bottom of the stairs Dawn had come to him and hugged him, he put his arms around her and brought her tighter against him. When she pulled away she had tears in her eyes. He brushed them away with his thumb, "what's wrong dear?" he said. "Nothing, I'm just happy" Dawn said, her face breaking out in a smile. Giles smiled and put an arm around her shoulders clearly understanding what she meant, "me too" he said as they made their way to the kitchen.  
  
The End 


End file.
